I like neon colors… like, a lot! My toenails are hot pink, my running shoes
basically glow in the dark, and my wardrobe is a rainbow of colors – and is
organized as such. Don’t judge me. Also, I love los gatos. No secret there. I’ve embraced the fact that I will likely
become the Crazy Cat Lady, and you should too.
Oh, and I have a tendency towards enjoying, and subsequently loving, the
fine musical stylings of Glee. Okay, now
you can judge me.
Today I have no great stories to tell, and no inspiring
patient experiences to share… I fear those days are mostly gone. But my blog was suffering from my lack of
attention, so I decided I’d at least put a modicum of effort into a rambling of
some sort. And as it turns out, I’m kind
of great at making lists (I’m like 90 percent left-brained, so making lists is
what I do). So this here blog is about
my top 10…
Things I’ve Learned as a Nurse:
10) The question, “When was the last time you pooped?” is
both a socially acceptable, and important question that we should all probably
ask ourselves daily. Really. You may not realize just what this says about
your overall health.
9) I went to four years of difficult schooling to often be a
glorified waitress. Fact. Nothing is more annoying than the ambulatory
patient who incessantly rings his or her call bell for more water, graham
crackers, or, best of all, has rung it so many times that when you get to the
room, he or she says, “Ummm, I forgot what I was going to ask you.”
8) Your snot is gross... often times grosser than your
poop. End of story. I know you’re sick, but PLEASE don’t call me
in the room to look at it so that I can confirm it’s color and/or consistency.
7) It’s 100 percent normal to approach strangers and let
them know they have great veins.
6) The phone numbers you should ALWAYS memorize are: lab,
pharmacy, and the on-call doctor. You
will save sooooo much time if you don’t have to look them up a million and a
half times a shift.
5) It is not okay to pop the blackhead on your patient's back
that you are eyeing as you help him walk to the bathroom… it’s just not.
4) A Parade of Dogs in costumes is actually more therapeutic
for the staff than the patients. This
should happen frequently.
3) People of the small-child variety don’t respond well to
sarcasm; don’t use it with them… ever.
2) Charades is always an acceptable form of communication.
… And finally…
1) I will always have a default Halloween costume.
