I'm Baaaack!

Wow! I haven’t blogged in a long time, which is largely because I lack the writing skills to entertain reading, but also because I don’t feel like I’ve had much to write about. But alas, I’m back… maybe my post this time will bear a more read-worthy quality.

Lately I’ve been thinking… a lot. I find this is easy to do because when I’m not at work keeping busy, I have a lot of free time, something that is a bit weird after coming from nursing school where free time came… well… never. But I digress.

Anyway, yesterday after work as I was leaving I heard that the Dolphin’s Cheerleaders were coming to visit soldiers at the hospital. Having famous people come to the hospital isn’t uncommon, but there is one thing about it that really bothers me, and that is that so much emphasis is put on “welcoming” these people that sometimes it feels like the patients get lost in the mix. So yesterday when five or six perfectly picturesque girls in spandex and jerseys walked into the ward, I honestly found myself frustrated. My job is to take care of soldiers - many of whom come from downrange with multiple broken bones, shrapnel wounds, abrasions, amputations, and so much swelling you can’t tell what they really look like - and taking care of them is what I want to do. I don’t want to praise the Dolphin’s cheerleaders for being beautiful. It’s times like this that I am so grateful to do what I do. I salute these service men and women for their sacrifices, for preserving my freedom and allowing me to do what I love. Maybe these soldiers won’t remember my name or recognize my face if they see me in the future, but I would like to think I made a difference because I placed them first.

I have also learned that as much as I love nursing, if I plan to stay in the military I’ll be shoved into a desk job in the next four to five years. I can’t do that. I love the interaction, I love medicine, I am fascinated by the pathophysiology of the body, and I want to keep learning. This has led to more thinking. I have had so many ideas about what to do for graduate school, but recently, with changes in the military and nurse corps, I realized that being a Nurse Practitioner wasn’t realistic if I wanted to do it before I turn 30 (at the soonest). I had been thinking about applying for IPAP (Interservice Physician Assistant Program) on and off for a while, and then about a week ago something just clicked, and it’s like a voice in my head (not a psychosis type voice) said, “this is it, this is what you need to do.” Ever since then it’s been kind of amazing. I feel so at peace with that decision. Now of course I still have to apply and be accepted to the program, but I’m just having faith that things are going to fall into place for me. For so long I’ve expected things not to work out, but for once I’ve really been able to maintain enthusiasm and optimism. In the meantime I’m going to pour myself into nursing and be the best nurse I can be, and learn as much as I can, so that when I do apply I can be as well prepared as possible to enter Physician’s Assistant program.

And finally, I have been thinking, probably excessively, of just how much I miss everything and everyone back home. Being an ocean and thousands of miles away from my friends, family, and 110 volt outlets has really made me realize how much I appreciate these things. Being so far away from them has been difficult, but it has made me even more grateful for a what a great support network I have. I have been encouraged and supported in everything I have done, and I just hope that I never take this for granted again. I have truly been blessed to have such wonderful people in my life (and 110 volt outlets, too).

So there you have it, a new blog. Well overdue, and hopefully not too boring. Perhaps the next one will happen sometime before the turn of the century. :)