Memorial Day Post (creative title, I know)

Fact: Wearing a neon yellow shirt makes you run faster… or at least it makes you feel like you’re running faster.

Another fact: Running in the heat without properly hydrating may result in quite a substantial headache.  Also, trying to combat said headache with a caffeinated beverage (that subsequently dehydrates you further) is not the answer!  So now I’m going to try and do the logical thing and hydrate (with water… duh) and rectify this little problem.  And I call myself a nurse…

Anyway, I’m not on here today to write about my run this morning, really, I’m not.  I just wanted to pass a little hard-earned wisdom on to all my avid readers – of which I’m convincing myself there are many.  And please don’t tell me otherwise, I quite enjoy living in this particular fantasy.  Okay, now it’s down to business… and by that I mean it’s time for me to actually get on track about what I really got on here to write about.

So a couple of weeks ago I was able to visit the Dachau Concentration Camp.  Ever since first learning about concentration camps when I was in elementary school, I’ve thought it would be so neat to be able to go visit one and really see what these people were put through.  Now normally I really don’t like history, honestly, it bores me to tears.  Case in point, I put off taking it until my last year in college and had saved my “Credit, No Credit” option for it, just so that I could put in the minimum effort and check that particular box.  However, there is one aspect of history that has always fascinated me, and that is the Holocaust.  Now I know this sounds morbid and disgusting, but how can you not be fascinated by man’s inhumanity to man?  Every time we studied this part of history I learned something new and horrible that had been done to the victims of the Holocaust, so when I finally got the chance to visit a place that so many of these people called “home” – and of course, I use the term loosely – for years, and in some cases, until they died, I was actually really excited to go.

While I was there I saw some pretty terrible things, and for the record, Dachau certainly isn’t the eeriest of concentration camps.  Still, the things I saw will probably stay with me forever.

Most of the barracks that the prisoners - yes, I consider them prisoners, albeit innocent ones - lived in had been torn down, except for one.  Inside, the sleeping arrangements had been rebuilt to mimic those that were typical at Dachau.  The “beds” were not any larger than a baby’s crib, with no cushioning, just boards, and no space between beds.  It’s no wonder that disease spread rampant through the camp.

The toilets were all in an open room, as were the so-called sinks.  I never saw any place for the prisoners to shower, and it’s doubtful that there ever was a place.

What I did see though, were what the prisoners were told were showers… and I think you all know where I’m going with this.  That’s right, I’m talking about the gas chambers.  Now it’s rumored that the gas chambers at Dachau weren’t ever used for their intended purpose of mass murder, but rather just as holding rooms.  That’s a mystery that may never have an answer.  In addition to the gas chambers, I saw the crematorium, which at one point, was not big enough for all the murders that were taking place.

One of the gas chambers at Dachau.

The crematorium.  In addition to serving as a crematorium, this area was also used as a place for hangings.  Prisoners would be killed by being hung off the ceiling posts.

  I also saw where they did roll call every morning.  It was here that prisoners were called out of formation, and shot in front of their peers.  Today, in this place, there stands a memorial to all the prisoners who came and went through Dachau.

This is the memorial that was built, roll call was done on either side of this area.

This is the gate that all the prisoners walked through to enter the camp.

It's hard to see, but these are all the spots where there used to be barracks.  This is just the view from one side, there were twice this many barracks in the camp.  Another interesting fact is that originally Dachau was built to hold 5,000 people, but at one point there were over 30,000 prisoners with no more space than there was for the intended 5,000.

Guard Tower that prisoners were always being watched from.

This gravestone says, "Grave of Many Thousand Unknown."

So in lieu of Memorial Day, let’s not forget to thank the people who fought for our freedoms so that we can live in a place free of oppression, and never have to endure what these prisoners went through.  I know that I will always be grateful to live in a country where I can do what I want to do, believe what I choose to believe, and be who I want to be without fear of mistreatment, or even death.  Thank a soldier, airman, marine (not me… I don’t count) next time you see one.  Their sacrifice is what allows us to live the way we do.

Mind Over Matter

Some people write for enjoyment, some people write because they have to (I’m having a flashback to all those history papers I’ve had to write that taught me how to use big words and lots of quotes to meet my minimum word requirement), some people write because it’s their job.  I write because it’s therapeutic… oh, and because I’m awesome at it.

I think today is definitely going to be a therapeutic writing session, I really need to talk a little bit, and as we all know, the MacBook is the best place to do it.  I mean the MacBook doesn’t judge, and it sits in silence and lets you rant on and on (have you ever tried to vent to someone who keeps trying to give you advice and all you want is someone who will listen to you?  Okay, I admit, I’m THAT person, I want to fix other people’s problems.  But whatevs, I digress).

This week has been a bit rough for me, not overall, mostly just in regards to my physical fitness level.  I have really beat myself up over it these past few days!

Now for those of you who know me well, you know that I’m notorious for my lack of coordination and athletic prowess (Raise you virtual electronic hand if you’ve seen me either a) run into a door or wall, or b) trip over my own feet while walking in an unobstructed, flat area).  Unfortunately, I often let myself become consumed by the words, “I can’t,” when it comes to physical fitness, and this week really tested me in that area. 

I’ve gone to the CrossFit gym everyday this week, and as we write our times and amounts of weight we lifted on the board, I begin comparing my numbers to everyone else’s.  (this can be demoralizing; don’t do it).  Not only did I see a bunch of numbers that were much better than mine, but everyone else could also see how much worse mine were.  Ugh.  But still, I walked out of the gym everyday telling myself that no one is judging, and improvement is what really matters.  And I’m really trying to believe both of these things.  I’m determined to beat this negative workout attitude I have, and it’s possible that today I might have had a mini breakthrough.

While doing our WOD today (Workout of the Day, for those of you who aren’t familiar with this particular acronym) - which consisted of about 1,000 lunges carrying overhead weight, a bajillion box jumps, and about 684.32 pull-ups - I just about had a breakdown.  I was swimming in my own sweat, feeling like I was going to vomit, and as I headed for the box to do more of the dreaded box jumps, using my legs that felt like nothing more than dead weight, the words “I can’t do this anymore” ran through my head again.   But then I had this thought, and it was a bit humbling for me.  I thought about the patients I take care of… you know, the ones who have lost one or both legs and/or one or both arms.  And I looked at that box and said, for the first time in a while, “you CAN do this.”  You see, I’ve spent so much time trying to be as good as everyone else that it’s actually hindered me being my personal best.  So no, I’m not a natural athlete (this is a fact, not a pessimistic statement), but you know what I am?  I’m a person with two legs and two arms that work!  That’s right, they work… and for the most part – minus the occasional run-in with a wall – they work pretty well.   Maybe my legs aren’t the fastest, and maybe my arms aren’t the strongest, but they are capable, and for this I am grateful!

Now don’t get me wrong, I know there will still be times when I feel inadequate and frustrated with my body, but I sincerely hope that every time I feel like I can’t do one more squat or one more dreaded pull-up, I’ll remember that some people would do anything for a second chance at legs or arms… even if they happened to be a little on the uncoordinated side.  :)